Draft recap of Any1seenMyDime? Fantasy basketball league 2015-2016

This is the 7^th year of our fantasy basketball league and I try to do a draft recap as before the season starts. It lets me put my full bias into my thoughts without any regular season stats tallied yet.  You’ll see the usual for each round: what I like, what I don’t like, and what I was thinking.  You can follow along with the draft order here: http://games.espn.go.com/fba/tools/draftrecap?leagueId=33535

Round 1: Can you go wrong with any of these guys?

What I liked: Obviously the Brow and Steph going 1 and 2. I like seeing LeBrick out of the conversation for #1 and seeing him fall to 6 is pretty good. I probably would even take the likes of Damian Lillard above LeBron in most fantasy formats. (Lillard could be MVP this year.)

What I didn’t like: Nothing. Statistically speaking, all 10 of these guys should stuff the stat sheet this year.

What I was thinking: Rodriguez had the first pick… but was also on his Honeymoon. Obviously, he had his priorities straight. Or did he? I had a hard time with the 2^nd pick. I wanted Steph. I wanted KD. And to be honest, I almost pulled the trigger on Lillard. He’s probably the only one who will play all 82 games this year, and with Aldridge in San Antonio and the ball in his hands, he’s going to have HUGE games this year. I ultimately chose Steph because of his defensive abilities. And I love him, and his game.

Round 2: Possible 1^st rounders

What I liked: You could make the case that some of these guys drafted in Round 2 could be drafted in Round 1. LaMarcus Aldridge, Paul George, and Melo are your typical borderline 1^st rounders. Klay Thompson is only getting better, and Jimmy Butler was awesome last year.

What I didn’t like: Two words. Rudy. Gobert. Really, Willie? I know you love the Jazz. But round 2 is not a round for risk. Gobert has upside… but not #11 upside. Also, Luther passing on Paul George. Unexplainable for a guy who swears by his Indiana teams.

What I was thinking: I wanted either Melo or LA. Carmelo should lead the league in scoring (or close to it.) And he does enough in the other categories that I was happy with him at 19. Plus he’s a SF/PF combo.

Round 3: Where the draft is won.

What I liked: A lot of big guys flying off the board.

What I didn’t like: Draymond Green was my waiver wire pick-up last year. He was great. But without improving his 3PM, I don’t see him as a 3^rd round pick. DeAndre Jordan. Gross. In a league that counts FT% and FT missed, Jordan is a plague.

What I was thinking: I wanted Vucevic all of last year. He is skilled offensively for a center, has great range and touch, and the Magic will run their offense through him. Marc Gasol probably has better defensive stats. But Vucevic will be an All-Star.

Round 4: Also where the draft is won

What I liked: A lot of great talent still available in this round. Rudy Gay has always been a favorite of mine, as he does a little bit of everything. Al Horford is apparently shooting 3’s this year.

What I didn’t like: This is OBVIOUS. I had my fingers crossed that KLove would drop to 39. I knew the chances were slim with Jared in front of me. But Mikey had no business grabbing Love. Completely uncalled for. I still don’t see KLove as a legit superstar, like he was in the past. But I still KLove him. (See what I did there?)

What I was thinking: I would have been ecstatic to get Love at 39. But I already knew chances were slim. I was happy with Lowry in round 4. I feel he’s extremely undervalued and is easily a 2^nd round pick. He was my targeted PG in this years draft.

Round 5: Last chance to win your draft

What I liked: This is the round where we see the last of the really great fantasy players go off the board. Batum should be beastly in Charlotte this year. The Greek Freak is just fun to own.

What I didn’t like: Kyrie is coming off a major injury and probably won’t be the player he’s been in the past. Isaiah Thomas is coming off the bench in Boston.

What I was thinking: I love PGs. I already drafted Steph and Lowry. I felt Ty Lawson is going to have a huge year in Houston along side the Beard. Ty and James Harden have a similar style of play: fast. They both penetrate, attack the basket, and drive and dish. There’s plenty of that to go back-and-forth so I expect Ty’s assists and 3s to be high this year.

Round 6: A few question marks

What I liked: Karl-Anthony Towns could be the rookie of the year. Mike Conley is a great pickup at this point in the draft (there’s that PG love again).

What I didn’t like: A lot of question marks. Can Wiggins repeat on last years performance? Will Monta Ellis and PG13 coexist in Indiana? Is Reggie Jackson a legit starting PG? Does Dirk have anything left? Is Danny Green effected  by Pops regimented playing time?

What I was thinking: The only sure-fire picks in this round were Mike Conley and Tobias Harris. I already picked point guards and I needed a PF. I had Tobias Harris on my team last year and he can do everything. He’s going to play a ton of minutes for Orlando and pairing him with Vucevic made sense. Plus he has SF eligibility.

Round 7: Former 1^st rounders

What I liked: There were several former 1^st round picks in this round. Tyreke Evans, DRose, Dwight Howard, Tim Duncan, Dwyane Wade. That made for some interesting justifications. When seeing these names, you can’t help but be tempted to pick them as you consider their past fantasy season greatness.  C.J. McCollum. He could be in for a huge year starting along side Damian Lillard.

What I didn’t like: Tim Duncan. He’s old and slow and in Pops system. He’s not going to play every night.

What I was thinking: I was looking hard at Greg Monroe. He’s always been a solid fantasy player, capable of a double double every night. I saw DRose. (Curse my love for PGs!) It took me down to the last second to pick Derrick Rose. I know he hasn’t been healthy, and he got hurt in practice already. But it looks like he’s going to start the season opener. And sometimes you gotta take risks… on guys like Derrick Rose… for the 3^rd season in a row…

Rounds 8-9: Potential Rock Stars

What I liked: Brandon taking ZBo again. DeMar DeRozan is probably the best SG value out of this group. Ryan Anderson is STILL the darling of our league. Thaddeus Young is a great pick here.

What I didn’t like: All the SGs. Probably the least valuable position in fantasy basketball, as players in other positions are starting to shoot further away from the hoop. I’m just not a fan of SGs in fantasy, especially when I can get a PG that qualifies as SG as well. (I still get 3s from PGs plus better assists and and defensive stats.) I still hate Kobe.  And seeing Rajon Rondo anywhere near a basketball team is ridiculous. He’s going to destroy the Kings organization from the inside out.

What I was thinking: PGs. Like I said. I can get a lot of value from a PG. Especially someone like Michael Carter-Williams who is a triple-double threat. I think Emmanuel Mudiay could contend for Rookie of the Year honors as the starting PG for the Denver Nuggets.

Round 10-11: Draft strategy goes out the window

What I liked: It’s generally at this point I draft ‘flyers’. Guys I think should be really good, even though they might not. Trevor Ariza should be good again this year. Gortat is better than people think. Marcus Smart is starting for Boston.

What I didn’t like: Everything about round 10 (except for Ilyasova). JR Smith is terrible. Joakim Noah probably wont start this year. Terrance Jones, Robin Lopez, and Enes Kanter are all question marks.

What I was thinking: I panicked. I had one sleeper pick this year. Meyers Leanard. I could have drafted Gortat. But no… I freaked out and picked Leonard fearing someone else might snag him. (A young freak athlete that is a starting big man filling the hole left by LA and can shoot 3s.) We’ll see how long he stays on my roster.  Jrue Holiday is supposed to be on a minutes restriction with his stress-fractured broken leg. But with Tyreke Evans out, I don’t see how the Pelicans can be competitive without Holiday. They need him to get back to the playoffs. He may get a full compliment of minutes sooner than January.

Round 12-13: The end of it all

What I liked: A lot of old, interesting players. Kevin Martin, Tony Parker, Joe Johnson, Deron Williams, Jeff Green, Luol Deng, Josh Smith. These guys used to be fantasy gold. Now? Who knows?

What I didn’t like: Patrick Beverly. Yuck. Josh Smith. Yuck.

What I was thinking: Once again. I freaked out. I was looking for Marcus Smart. I didn’t realize he’d been taken so I half-hazzardly grabbed Julius Randle and Alec Burks. Randle has a lot of upside as the starting PF for the Lakers. And Burks was the surprise of fantasy last year until he was injured, he’s just not a good 3pt shooter for a SG (which drives me crazy).

All in all, I hope everyone had fun. Should be a great year for basketball. I’ll see ya’ll in the playoffs. (Except for 2 of you).   Overall I think I fared okay in my draft. 7 PGs is a bit much… but then again… maybe not. You never know.

Two Dollars Worth!

Now, I don't know if I'm going to do this every night, but maybe I will if the Suns keep winning. These videos are fun anyways. Here are the highlights from the game tonight against Golden State. Starting out the season 2-0!



Yes, you heard right. Steve Nash dropped two dollars worth of dimes* all over court! So, just in case you missed it...



I also have to include a favorite play of the night. Shannon Brown throwin' down! (I love this because he's a point guard who can SKY! Plus, the Lakers lost... double happiness for me!)



*Dropping Dimes is a slang term meaning: to make an assist in basketball i.e. to pass the ball to a teamate who then successfully scores a basket. Usually this term is used in streetball competitions. (I also believe the term is used when referring to a quick drug deal of ten dollars worth of drugs aka a quick hit... but what do I know?)

ps- Two dollars worth of dimes equals 20 dimes aka 20 assists

Wanna be a Balla, Shot Calla...

I've been waiting six months for this night. And Steve and Co. did not disappoint. Steve Nash is as CLUTCH as anyone in the league.

"they say i couldnt play football i was too small, they say i couldnt play basketball i wasnt tall, they say i couldnt play baseball at all, now everyday of my life i ball"

Now, for further enjoyment, here is Carmelo Anthony dunking on Paul Milsap. Oh, so sexy!

I love this game!

The Almost Algorithm

Basketball season is upon us. (Almost.) How can I tell, you ask? It could be the amazing autumn colors dotting the trees. It could be the cool, brisk air that welcomes my face in the morning. It could be that football season if half over (almost) and that baseball is in the middle of the playoffs. … Or it could be that I’m injured again. I broke my ankle. (Almost.)

I’ve always considered myself as resilient. I’m the kind of guy that bounces back. (I would have to say that’s a very literal statement. And I should also say that it hurts a lot more to bounce on concrete then on grass. Just an FYI for anyone now thinking about trying to calculate your body’s impact-to-bounce ratio.) Sometimes it just takes a little bit longer to bounce back, to recoup, to return to form. (I really think it’s a 1:1 ratio, unless you’re a little portlier… then it might be one impact to two bounces, or 1:2. Hey, my interest is peaked.)

So as I’ve been sitting here icing my overly swollen, extremely discolored, and nearly unrecognizable stump of a leg, (seriously, it’s HUGE) I’ve been trying to figure out the last time I was injured. Surprisingly… it’s been a long time.

Let’s go back to December, 2006. I was playing a little pick-up ball in Rexburg, Idaho. I was dominating in every aspect of the game (of course) and was really shooting the lights out. The kid who was guarding me decided he should try and keep me from shooting by playing really tight D. Mistake. He didn’t know how quick I was…. Yet. He stepped towards me and I immediately knew what he was doing. I faked left, and drove right. I now had space between me and him, but I saw his teammate coming over from the weakside. I stopped and pivoted, looking for the open man. Mistake. I didn’t know how slow (to stop) my defender was…. Yet.

The following happened in about .000001 seconds (aka a flash): To my horror he was still lumbering towards me. I don’t think he had his eyes open. If he did, I don’t think he had his glasses on. If he did, I don’t think they were the right prescription. If they were, I don’t think he had a brain. He was running full speed with his head down, eyes to the floor. Like a bull after a torero, or Zidane after the Italians. Crunch, blur, collapse, blood.

It was kinda like this: (this is why Steve Nash is FANTASTIC!)




When I finally wiped the tears from my eyes (c’mon! everyone knows if you get hit in the nose your eyes fill with liquid… and when you get dumped by your girlfriend… and when you put your contacts in… and when you watch Brother Bear… right?) all I could see was a pool of blood. If blood banks could take all the blood that’s ever come from my nose, they would save an entire nation (like France… hmmm).

It was broken. I had surgery. It got better. I did snot.

That was the last time I was injured… okay that’s a lie. Summer of 2007. I was playing some pick-up ball in Cheyenne, Wyoming. I was dominating in every aspect… (did you notice a pattern here? Also, did you notice my snot joke? Just making sure…) Anyways, I’ll just show you exactly what I did (Almost). Watch the big white guy. (In my story, the roles were reversed: I had the ball going for the layup, which I made, and the little guy in black was on defense.)




I, of course, walked out of the gym by myself, on my own two legs. Apparently my knees aren’t worth $19.7 million dollars a year like Dirk Nowitzki’s. But after two weeks of being immobilized and a brief stint at rehab, I was back to my regular, old self.

And I’ve been injury free since. (Well, almost.)

Ball Jury In Basket

Hey Garlan... are you still using those crutches? If you're not, I'd love to borrow them... I mean... ahem... I have a friend of a friend who needs them. He... um... hurt his leg in the first ever X-games extreme bareback horse riding competition. I guess that's what happens when you try to be the Travis Pastrana of bareback and land the first back flip... on horseback. (What's amazing is he actually got the horse all the way around... he just kinda slipped through the stirrup on the landing...)

At least he was trying something cool... unlike you. Please read about Garlan here. I just have a few points to make. 1) You can't take anyone off the dribble. You're too slow and don't have any handles (besides the kind that begin with 'love'). 2) You can't jump. Especially off one foot. You're white... and trash. You're white trash. Please read more about Garlan here.

Naw, I'm just kidding about the white part...

Anyways... about those crutches. I think... I mean, my friend of a friend thinks he may need them soon. He's in a lot of pain and really shouldn't be putting any weight on it. Especially because he didn't do the exact same thing that you did to your ankle. That would be ridiculous of him. And definitley not smart... and mostly, extremely ironic. Especially because I texted you about it an hour before I hurt... I mean, my friend of a friend hurt himself.

So it's been about ten hours since I... he did it... should he still be nauseated? In extreme pain?... ...Crying?... Just wonderin'. ... Yeah so let me/us/him know... Thanks.

I'm just like you... but ten times better.

I found these Vitamin Water commercials the other day... Enjoy!

The Steve Nash Connection

Everyone who reads my blog knows I have a slight man-crush on Steve Nash. And if you didn't quite catch that from the pics, videos, and hearts scribbled around his name in my diary... I mean, uh... look, a bromance can be a healthy part of a single man's life.

Well, I finally found it. The connection of my world to his. And no, I'm not talking about having the same hairstyle, ballin' shoes, or game time mannerisms. Nor am I talking about ballin' with him when I dream, doing his off-season work out, or studying his game film. What I am talking about is a real life, actual connection... in my mind.

Try and keep up... I'm from Wyoming. My mom's two brothers live there. One of them owns a smoothie shop called RubyJuice. I worked there for a few summers. A girl named Kelley also worked there. Kelley's mom, Caren, was best friends growing up with Alvin Gentry. Who is Alvin Gentry? Alvin Gentry is the Phoenix Suns head coach, after being an assistant coach since 2004. Gentry is the coach of Steve Nash!

Someday, I'll find it. The Steve Nash Connection: B-ball and Steve Nash and me.

Happy Birthday Steve!

suns

From one baller... ________ to another...

BYU's 'Heads-up' Coaching

The following post is rated PG-13. It is not suitable for readers under the age of "I-think-BYU-sports-are-the-best-in-the-Nation". If you believe such non-sense... stop reading. Reader discression is advised. ... Seriously. You might cry.

Now that all that political correctness is out of the way... I've been waiting some time to write this. But as the new year is upon us... I shall wait no longer. (It's kind of a new years resolution. Oh and the title of this post almost symbolic. Or maybe I just confused the word 'symbolic' with the word 'graphic'.)

Let's start with the BYU Men's Basketball team. Dave Rose has done a good job with this club. They love to run in transition and can shoot three's like it's nobody's business. But you know what they say... live by the three... die by the three. They aren't going to be able to rely on the trey-ball all year, and they don't really have anyone to go to inside. Their big guys play okay defense, but are not a factor in the offense. This is going to be a problem come tournament time. Oh and by the way, good job convincing Trent Plaisted to stay for his senior year instead of declaring NBA draft eligibility. Smart move. (That last little bit was completely sarcastic. Plaisted, who averaged almost 16 pts 8 reb, is in Europe somewhere, lost in basketball detention.)

So I've been to a few games and overall the team is exciting to watch. A lot of energy, steals, and three pointers. But Coach Rose is anything but classy. Usually when you're up 20 points with a couple minutes left in the game, you put in your scrubs, your reserves, your benchwarmers. Not Coach Rose. Okay, so maybe 20 isn't as 'safe' as it used to be. But 30+, yeah, now you can put in the freshmen to finish out the game. Not Coach Rose. Well, how about 40+... you're as safe as you can get, right? Up 40 with 5 minutes to go? Not Coach Rose.

Against Rice, Weber State, and Boise State, Coach Rose left his starters in almost the whole game. These guys were still running and gunning, bombing threes and throwing alley-oops. The average margin of victory: 34 points. That's right. The opposition will remember the day they played the Cougars. Stay classy Coach Rose.

Now, lets change gears here. I think the BYU Football team's motto for next year should be 'Quest to fire Bronco Mendenhall'. Only 3 big games this year and they lost every one of them. All the blame goes to him for the shelacking TCU gave them... and after a byeweek... seriously Bronco? What are you concentrating on for those two weeks prior? Firesides?

The Utah game wasn't all Mendenhall's fault. Max Hall had the worst game of his career with 5 INTs and a fumble. But after the third interception you'd think Bronco would realize Max wasn't up to the task. As a coach, you want to show your team you trust your guy... but Bronco should have shown some sort of fire, some sort of indication that that game was important. Chew him out. Throw your headset. Do something for crying out loud! Football players feed off each other. They're like a pack of rabid velosa raptors. But if Mama raptor is indifferent on whether they have chicken fried stegasaurus or beer battered triceratops, then the baby raptors won't care either! In other words, passion is an admirable quality in a leader.

Now the AZ game. Yay for the Las Vegas Bowl, again. ... Awesome. We just lost to a 7-5 football team... oh wait 8-5, my bad. BYU was complaining all year that they weren't getting enough love from ESPN and the BCS. We would have been DESTROYED by any other ranked team. How do I know this? Because we just got owned by Arizona.

Give AZ credit. They're a good team. Us getting pounded by them means we're less than good. It probably didn't help BYU any that Max Hall, Austin Collie, and Dennis Pitta were playing pick-up ball on campus during the few weeks before the 'Big Game'. (I played with Max and am convinced he made a smart move by choosing football over basketball.) But honestly, Bronco, that's a smart coaching move: "Yeah, guys... go play basketball on campus with all the washed-up married guys, 18 year old spazzes, and uncoordinated exchange students. Don't worry about the fact that our next game is nationally sponsored and that if we win we all get Nintendo Wii's for the 3rd year in a row. Just don't get hurt." (Did anyone notice Dennis Pitta's knee injury? Wonder how that happened?) Enjoy your Nintendo Wii's Wildcats!

And seriously... he named his kids Breaker, Raider, and Cutter. Some might call that cute, I'd call it child abuse.

Frienemies

Yeah, that's right. Frienemies. You know, the kid who says he's gonna pick you first because you picked him first yesterday (he gets to be a captain because he brought his football), but you don't even end up in the top five. The ones that promise they'll trade their Jason Kidd rookie card for your Penny Hardaway rookie, but don't. Your pal who says you'll be best buds forever, and then moves away after 8th grade never to be heard of again. And yes, the people who act like your friends when you're right in front of them, but talk about you behind your back.

We all know people like this. My roommate Garlan has had recent experience with one: the Seattle Supersonics. (His once beloved Sonics recently moved to Oklahoma City and are now the Thunder.) The sad thing for Garlan is that now the Sonics don't exist. Future NBA fans will never experience the joy of watching their favorite team destroy the likes of Gary Payton, Shawn Kemp, or Detlef Schrempf again.

Of course Garlan is upset. But how would you feel if your favorite team moved halfway accross the country and changed their team name only slightly (Supersonics to Thunder, both really loud nosies, Thunder is obviously the lesser of the two sounds), making sure you know that they used to be your team. (It would be like the Suns moving to Nashville and becoming the Moons. Or the Jazz moving to St. Louis and becoming the Oldies. Yeah. Like that.) But that will never happen, because our teams are actually GOOD.

The Seattle Mariners were the second worst team in baseball this year going 61-101. (The only other team to lose 100 games was the Washington Nationals, no surprise, but that's how bad the Mariners were.) The Seattle Seahawks are currently 2-9. So... if they win the last 5 games this season... they still won't make the playoffs. His beloved University of Washington Huskies are 0-11. They had a chance to beat Washington State (a team that is 2-10 and actually worse than U double-U) in OT... but couldn't do it. Now, HIS Seatt... er, uh, Oklahoma City Thunder are 1-13. The worst record in the NBA. At this rate, by the end of the season they will have won 6 games.

But Garlan won't let that keep him down. He has other activities to occupy his time: grilling Polish sausages and burgers, admiring all films featuring Jason Statham, arguing Ray Allen's case as the best shooter in NBA history and this years MVP, and growing/cutting his hair. I've neglected to state that Garlan is kind of white trash. Some might say a redneck. Actually, he's more than a white trash redneck. He's a red trash whiteneck.

But Garlan really is a nice guy. He likes going on blind dates. He volunteers a lot of his time at church. And his favorite TV show is Paris Hilton's My New BFF. Can you blame him? Anyone who can show you how to go 'from Frienemies to Bikini Besties' is worth watching. 'We love you Paris!'

At the end of each show one of the girls gets eliminated from the running to become Paris' new 'best friend forever'. Nothing beats elimination time. On the most recent episode, Paris decides to put all the girls up for elimination. The scene: the jacuzzi. (If you're a guy and you weren't watching the show, you are now.)

I think I may have commented something along the lines of: That Brittany is a hottie but I'm pretty sure she's a psycho-hose-beast-wench. And Shelley is a doll, but she's way too quiet for a girl like Paris."

Garlan replied (with a wry smile), "It's not about the body. It's about the girl inside the body."

And that's exactly why all of those girls are on the show. 'We love you Paris!'

Freudian Slip

The other day I baked some stinkin’ cookies. They were stinkin’ good. In fact, they were so good they lasted about 13 minutes. Well, my friend Adriana had the audacity to tell me that her cookies are better than mine. I disagreed. Snicker doodles vs Peanut Butter Chocolate Chunk. Seriously? There’s no competition.

Adriana said, “Bart, my love for baking is equal to the love you feel for your own mother… or Steve Nash. It's my favorite pastime."

I chuckled slightly.

Adriana: Telling me that you can make better cookies than me is like telling Tiger Woods you could beat him in a round of golf.

(The mere fact that she was using Tiger Woods as a comparison of herself was very impressive. But it would take a lot more than a sports reference to deter me from winning yet another pointless argument. And this would be a pointless argument because I consider opening a package of pre-mixed dough, slapping it on a cookie sheet, and sliding it into the oven as 'baking'.)

Bart: Oh, so now you're the Tiger Woods of baking?

Adriana: I'm better than the Tiger Woods of baking… but I cant think of a better person to liken it to without being offensive.

(Had she likened herself to, lets say, Giada De Laurentiis then, yes, I would have been offended. But if she compared her talent of baking to Rosanne’s talent of eating… well, I can’t imagine anyone being offended by that.)

Bart: You’re obviously very confident in your so-called ‘skills’... but can you make cinnamon rolls?

Adriana: (With a deliberate laugh) Ha Ha Ha. Is that a serious question?!?
I can bake a variety of cinnamon rolls.

Bart: Well my mom’s cinnamon rolls are the best... no one even comes close. When we visit long-time friends or relatives, usually the first words out of their mouths are: ‘Did you bring cinnamon rolls?’

A: We will just have to agree to disagree on that one.

B: Well I disagree that we have to agree to disagree. You see… you can say you are the best all you want... but until it is proven with hard evidence, all you're saying is words. Words that carry no meaning.

A: Ask my roommates. I bake for them all the time and they LOVE me for it.

B: As far as I know, your roommates come from non-baking homes and their opinion of you could be extremely biased because they've never had baked goods before.

A: Well Bart, you could have been the benefactor of some amazing cookies… but you chose the game. Big mistake. Especially because your team lost.

(Suns vs Jazz… and OF COURSE I chose the game. And don’t get me started on how those idiotic refs called 5 fouls on Steve Nash midway through the 3rd quarter. Honestly?)

A: Okay. that was below the belt. I feel bad. Sorry for the last comment. I like the Suns.

B: I see what you’re doing. You crossed the line and now you're trying to get back in my good graces.

A: I’m not trying to get back in your grace. But, nobody should kid about the Suns or basketball. Its a matter of morals.

(She had a valid point. No one should kid about the Suns or basketball. But I refuse to let her think I recognize that she made a point.)

B: And you are obviously without morals.

A: Listen Wyoming, I know you can’t admit it, because of your ego, but you and I both know that I bake better than you do.

B: Like I said... you're just saying words until you can prove it.

A: Well, there are naked goods over here all the time! I'm not going to deliver them to you like your little servant! If you want to see what everybody else sees and comes over here for, you'll just have to come yourself!

(Ha ha! I was literally on the ground from laughter. She hadn’t caught what she had said… and maybe you as a reader didn’t either. But I did. And I couldn’t help myself… )

B: You wish I’d let you deliver your ‘goods’.

A: I wish you’d let me?!? Ha! As if! My goods are in high demand! I don’t have time for your demands too!

B: I won't argue that... but do you have time to realize your mistake?

(She then realized what she had said and tried to cover it as a “Freudian Slip”. This reminded me of a joke I once heard. It is my all time favorite. It always makes me smile. But beware, I’m a guy.)

Two men are talking in the bar sharing their sob stories.

One man says, "I had the worst Freudian Slip the other day."

The other man responds, "What is a Freudian Slip?"

"You know, it's when you mean to say one thing, but you say something else that reveals what you are really thinking about. Like the other day, I was at the airport and this really beautiful lady was helping me. Instead of asking her for 'two tickets to Pittsburgh', I asked her for 'two Pickets to Tittsburgh."

The second replies, "Oh, now I know what you are talking about. It's like the other day when I was having breakfast with my wife. I wanted her to pass me the Orange Juice, and instead I said, "YOU STUPID WENCH YOU RUINED MY LIFE!"