Tuesday, October 27, 2015

Draft recap of Any1seenMyDime? Fantasy basketball league 2015-2016

This is the 7th year of our fantasy basketball league and I try to do a draft recap as before the season starts. It lets me put my full bias into my thoughts without any regular season stats tallied yet.  You’ll see the usual for each round: what I like, what I don’t like, and what I was thinking.  You can follow along with the draft order here: http://games.espn.go.com/fba/tools/draftrecap?leagueId=33535

Round 1: Can you go wrong with any of these guys?

What I liked: Obviously the Brow and Steph going 1 and 2. I like seeing LeBrick out of the conversation for #1 and seeing him fall to 6 is pretty good. I probably would even take the likes of Damian Lillard above LeBron in most fantasy formats. (Lillard could be MVP this year.)

What I didn’t like: Nothing. Statistically speaking, all 10 of these guys should stuff the stat sheet this year.

What I was thinking: Rodriguez had the first pick… but was also on his Honeymoon. Obviously, he had his priorities straight. Or did he? I had a hard time with the 2nd pick. I wanted Steph. I wanted KD. And to be honest, I almost pulled the trigger on Lillard. He’s probably the only one who will play all 82 games this year, and with Aldridge in San Antonio and the ball in his hands, he’s going to have HUGE games this year. I ultimately chose Steph because of his defensive abilities. And I love him, and his game.

Round 2: Possible 1st rounders

What I liked: You could make the case that some of these guys drafted in Round 2 could be drafted in Round 1. LaMarcus Aldridge, Paul George, and Melo are your typical borderline 1st rounders. Klay Thompson is only getting better, and Jimmy Butler was awesome last year.

What I didn’t like: Two words. Rudy. Gobert. Really, Willie? I know you love the Jazz. But round 2 is not a round for risk. Gobert has upside… but not #11 upside. Also, Luther passing on Paul George. Unexplainable for a guy who swears by his Indiana teams.

What I was thinking: I wanted either Melo or LA. Carmelo should lead the league in scoring (or close to it.) And he does enough in the other categories that I was happy with him at 19. Plus he’s a SF/PF combo.

Round 3: Where the draft is won.

What I liked: A lot of big guys flying off the board.

What I didn’t like: Draymond Green was my waiver wire pick-up last year. He was great. But without improving his 3PM, I don’t see him as a 3rd round pick. DeAndre Jordan. Gross. In a league that counts FT% and FT missed, Jordan is a plague.

What I was thinking: I wanted Vucevic all of last year. He is skilled offensively for a center, has great range and touch, and the Magic will run their offense through him. Marc Gasol probably has better defensive stats. But Vucevic will be an All-Star.

Round 4: Also where the draft is won

What I liked: A lot of great talent still available in this round. Rudy Gay has always been a favorite of mine, as he does a little bit of everything. Al Horford is apparently shooting 3’s this year.

What I didn’t like: This is OBVIOUS. I had my fingers crossed that KLove would drop to 39. I knew the chances were slim with Jared in front of me. But Mikey had no business grabbing Love. Completely uncalled for. I still don’t see KLove as a legit superstar, like he was in the past. But I still KLove him. (See what I did there?)

What I was thinking: I would have been ecstatic to get Love at 39. But I already knew chances were slim. I was happy with Lowry in round 4. I feel he’s extremely undervalued and is easily a 2nd round pick. He was my targeted PG in this years draft.

Round 5: Last chance to win your draft

What I liked: This is the round where we see the last of the really great fantasy players go off the board. Batum should be beastly in Charlotte this year. The Greek Freak is just fun to own.

What I didn’t like: Kyrie is coming off a major injury and probably won’t be the player he’s been in the past. Isaiah Thomas is coming off the bench in Boston.

What I was thinking: I love PGs. I already drafted Steph and Lowry. I felt Ty Lawson is going to have a huge year in Houston along side the Beard. Ty and James Harden have a similar style of play: fast. They both penetrate, attack the basket, and drive and dish. There’s plenty of that to go back-and-forth so I expect Ty’s assists and 3s to be high this year.

Round 6: A few question marks

What I liked: Karl-Anthony Towns could be the rookie of the year. Mike Conley is a great pickup at this point in the draft (there’s that PG love again).

What I didn’t like: A lot of question marks. Can Wiggins repeat on last years performance? Will Monta Ellis and PG13 coexist in Indiana? Is Reggie Jackson a legit starting PG? Does Dirk have anything left? Is Danny Green effected  by Pops regimented playing time?

What I was thinking: The only sure-fire picks in this round were Mike Conley and Tobias Harris. I already picked point guards and I needed a PF. I had Tobias Harris on my team last year and he can do everything. He’s going to play a ton of minutes for Orlando and pairing him with Vucevic made sense. Plus he has SF eligibility.

Round 7: Former 1st rounders

What I liked: There were several former 1st round picks in this round. Tyreke Evans, DRose, Dwight Howard, Tim Duncan, Dwyane Wade. That made for some interesting justifications. When seeing these names, you can’t help but be tempted to pick them as you consider their past fantasy season greatness.  C.J. McCollum. He could be in for a huge year starting along side Damian Lillard.

What I didn’t like: Tim Duncan. He’s old and slow and in Pops system. He’s not going to play every night.

What I was thinking: I was looking hard at Greg Monroe. He’s always been a solid fantasy player, capable of a double double every night. I saw DRose. (Curse my love for PGs!) It took me down to the last second to pick Derrick Rose. I know he hasn’t been healthy, and he got hurt in practice already. But it looks like he’s going to start the season opener. And sometimes you gotta take risks… on guys like Derrick Rose… for the 3rd season in a row…

Rounds 8-9: Potential Rock Stars

What I liked: Brandon taking ZBo again. DeMar DeRozan is probably the best SG value out of this group. Ryan Anderson is STILL the darling of our league. Thaddeus Young is a great pick here.

What I didn’t like: All the SGs. Probably the least valuable position in fantasy basketball, as players in other positions are starting to shoot further away from the hoop. I’m just not a fan of SGs in fantasy, especially when I can get a PG that qualifies as SG as well. (I still get 3s from PGs plus better assists and and defensive stats.) I still hate Kobe.  And seeing Rajon Rondo anywhere near a basketball team is ridiculous. He’s going to destroy the Kings organization from the inside out.

What I was thinking: PGs. Like I said. I can get a lot of value from a PG. Especially someone like Michael Carter-Williams who is a triple-double threat. I think Emmanuel Mudiay could contend for Rookie of the Year honors as the starting PG for the Denver Nuggets.

Round 10-11: Draft strategy goes out the window

What I liked: It’s generally at this point I draft ‘flyers’. Guys I think should be really good, even though they might not. Trevor Ariza should be good again this year. Gortat is better than people think. Marcus Smart is starting for Boston.

What I didn’t like: Everything about round 10 (except for Ilyasova). JR Smith is terrible. Joakim Noah probably wont start this year. Terrance Jones, Robin Lopez, and Enes Kanter are all question marks.

What I was thinking: I panicked. I had one sleeper pick this year. Meyers Leanard. I could have drafted Gortat. But no… I freaked out and picked Leonard fearing someone else might snag him. (A young freak athlete that is a starting big man filling the hole left by LA and can shoot 3s.) We’ll see how long he stays on my roster.  Jrue Holiday is supposed to be on a minutes restriction with his stress-fractured broken leg. But with Tyreke Evans out, I don’t see how the Pelicans can be competitive without Holiday. They need him to get back to the playoffs. He may get a full compliment of minutes sooner than January.

Round 12-13: The end of it all

What I liked: A lot of old, interesting players. Kevin Martin, Tony Parker, Joe Johnson, Deron Williams, Jeff Green, Luol Deng, Josh Smith. These guys used to be fantasy gold. Now? Who knows?

What I didn’t like: Patrick Beverly. Yuck. Josh Smith. Yuck.

What I was thinking: Once again. I freaked out. I was looking for Marcus Smart. I didn’t realize he’d been taken so I half-hazzardly grabbed Julius Randle and Alec Burks. Randle has a lot of upside as the starting PF for the Lakers. And Burks was the surprise of fantasy last year until he was injured, he’s just not a good 3pt shooter for a SG (which drives me crazy).

All in all, I hope everyone had fun. Should be a great year for basketball. I’ll see ya’ll in the playoffs. (Except for 2 of you).   Overall I think I fared okay in my draft. 7 PGs is a bit much… but then again… maybe not. You never know.

Sunday, September 22, 2013

We need addresses!

Friday, January 11, 2013

The Adventures of Bart and Dan: Episode 17

17- Dan and Thalia get Engaged

(The setting: the old house on 1st East)

Dan and Thalia enter the doorway, Dan holding her hand up to show everyone the rock.

Together: “We’re engaged!”

Bart: Oh really? Engaged in what? Arm wrestling? A tussle? A deep and articulate conversation?

D & T just look at Bart. Bart just looks back, still earnestly seeking an answer.

D: To be married…

B: Well, duh! Everyone knows that! The producer of the show put the title of the show up before you guys even got here… even our TV viewers watching from home already knew you two were getting married. See… it’s still there. (Pointing down so if you're watching TV it looks like he's pointing at the bottom of the screen… Title changes from ‘Dan and Thalia get engaged’ to Dan and thalia ARE engaged’)

D: So you’re saying you already knew?

B: Yeah, why else would I suggest you were arm wrestling? I thought you were going to tell us that you were engaged in something we didn’t already know about. I mean, who goes around telling people all the things they already know. “Hello, fireman. You fight fires.” “Hello, Oprah. You’re a rich black woman.” “Oh hello man with a monkey on your face. You have a monkey on your face.”

Andre is sitting on the couch filing his nails: This is all just...well, you know...engaging…

B: Wait a sec... Dan you're getting married? I didn't even know you had a GF.

Dan steps slightly to the side of Thalia and shows her like Vannah White.

Bart just stares, Dan reemphasizes with a head nod…. Bart leaves

Girl1: Congrats! But you can’t add more little Criddles to the world!?

Andre still filing: With a last name like 'Criddle' he sure can!

Thalia:  More Criddles!? Who said anything about more Criddles?

Dan: bwaahahaha, my evil plan to save the world. Just you wait till it's unfurled.

Andre still hasn’t moved:   It’ll go down in history.

Bart runs back into the room and hugs Dan around the stomach, because that's normal: FIVE IRON FRENZY????!!!!!! DAN I LOVE YOU! Have MY babies???!!!

Dan:  Um, you'll have to ask Thal about that one. I'm thinking she wouldn't be such a big fan.

B: Hey Thalia… would you be a big fan if Dan had my babies?

She stares with one eyebrow up.

B: Hmmm… how about just a fan… a regular old normal fan?

She walks off.

Bart to Dan:  That just made my day... even though she semi-rejected the notion of you having my babies, you just gave a shout out to FIF! I'll take a Five Iron shout out over her acceptance anyday... over breathing even.

D: Well good thing you can have both.

B:   So... you're saying you'll have my babies? ...

D: What??  No, that would be three things; (Steps up to the whiteboard with a ruler)  Five iron shout out + Breathing + Having babies = 1 too many things.

B:  So... you're saying I can choose 3 things minus 1 too many things?... ?

Dan:   No, you have to set one side equal to zero. Subtract one too many things and you are left with the two things that are not too much.

B: Oh, ok. Why didn’t you just say that? Well obviously I choose Five Iron... thats a no brainer... and I also choose.... hmmm...  jalapeno custard?

Dan: Sure, but I'll probably have to get that from Japan, which really counts as two things, so I'll have to take back the Five Iron Frenzy shout-out when I hand you the custard, or you could keep the shout-out and just watch the jalapeno custard dissimilate in my hands; which is kind of like eating it with your eyes....

B: (in a daze) mmm... I like eye eating

D:  ... as opposed to eating eyes which is just reprehensible.

B:  Oh gross! Who would do such a thing, besides Vietnamese and Arctic Nomads?

D:  Irish.

B:  Yeah, I have a problem with my Irish too. Do you think i should go to the optometrist?

D: fish-eesh-ish.

B: Yeah, you're right. The pediatric surgeon would be a much better choice.


Everyone’s sitting on the couch with a bowl of popcorn… Bart leans over to Thalia…

Bart to Thalia: How about a fair weather fan? You can be a fan on nice spring, summer, or fall days… and maybe even a few days in winter… just not during a blizzard or on days I go to the dentist….  ?

Thal doesn't flinch.

B to T: How about just a casual observer type of fan? One who doesn’t really care but checks the scores in the Daily Herald every now and again just to be up with the times?

Thalia just eats her popcorn.

Tuesday, October 30, 2012

Any1SeenMyDime? The 4th Quarter: Fantasy draft

The start of the NBA season brings new beginnings for NBA Fantasy managers all over the world. For those of us in the Any1SeenMyDime? fantasy basketball league hosted by ESPN, we couldn't be more excited. 
So to celebrate the start of the season, I've decided to do what they've done on ESPN: analyze my picks and my opponents' picks, and give insights to how the draft shook-out. In other words, I'm going to give you expert analysis by a non-expert: me. 
To my opponents, I say: You may or may not agree with how I analyze you...I really don't care. Just know that you are going to lose, and at the end of this season, you will be a part of the mediocre rubble on which I stand.

I was the first one in the draft room this year. I was certain I was due for an improvement when it came to the randomized draft order… but sometimes certainty can fail a guy. I was 5th… again. Now, while I was slightly upset that I wasn’t one of the top two (I think we can all agree that there is a HUGE drop-off in Fantasy brilliance after KD and LeBron), I realized it could have been worse. I could have been 10th. (Yes, that’s a dig at Rodriguez. Ha).

Here's the link to our Draft Recap, you can follow along, if you'd like. http://games.espn.go.com/fba/tools/draftrecap?leagueId=33535

Round 1: Who do you like?

What I liked: Every team actually picked players I would consider top 12 fantasy players. Seriously. It was good to finally see Josh Smith get the attention he deserved in the first round after being relegated to the sloppy-second rounds for years.

What I didn’t like: Didn’t Mike Holmes and Will Harnish have the 1st and 2nd picks last year? Super lame-gay. (And yes, I AM using gay to mean stupid, because that’s what my generation does and it’s OK.) I was surprised that Rodriguez took Kobe. A die-hard Spurs fan picks Kobe Bryant? My fingers feel dirty just from typing that sentence.

What I was thinking: I was actually right where I wanted to be IF I wasn’t going to be 1st or 2nd. I was going to be perfectly content with whoever fell to me at 5. (That’s a lie.) In reality, I wanted Kevin Love. He was projected 3rd pick overall BEFORE his injury, and the guy stuffs the stat sheet with excellent percentages. Willie made a comment that Curtis would take Love while on auto draft, and I freaked out a little bit. I was MORE than relieved to see Love wasn’t taken before I had the chance. Although I did hesitate and consider taking DWill. Even if it was only for a second. But I knew I wanted Kevin Love, and if I waited until the 2nd round there’s NO WAY I’d get him. You’ll be seeing and hearing a lot more about KLove as the season progresses.

Round two is interesting because it gives some managers the chance to get players that could easily be first rounders.  Normally, Al Jefferson, Dirk Nowitzki, and Pau Gasol could easily be included in this category. But there were a LOT of new faces in round 2, and I didn’t like it one bit!

What I liked: Team Little pairing Melo with Rondo. I really don’t like Rondo, but I can’t deny the production. The only other think I liked: Al Jefferson and Pau Gasol. These two guys are always borderline 1st rounders, always consistent and predictable. That’s what Fantasy is all about.

What I didn’t like: All the new faces in round 2. Maybe I’m just getting old, but this seems crazy that almost all of these guys were late rounders last year and are 2nd rounders this year: Ty Lawson, Kyrie Irving, Serge Ibaka (really, Mike?), James Harden (obviously theres upside with Harden now that he’s a Rocket, but that’s still a giant mystery… he’s a bench player. Doesn’t any of this remind you of 2009, when Houston took Trevor Ariza from the Lakers? Yeah, that didn’t turn out well.) I also hate the fact that Willie drafted Goran Dragic BEFORE Steve Nash. Are you kidding me? You have some serious explaining to do, because that’s ridiculous. A lot of unproven players were drafted this round. It will be interesting to see who pans out. And of course, Mike Holmes drafting Steve Nash. I don’t get what it is that people don’t understand when I say “If you draft Steve Nash, you will get punched in the balls.” Mike, I was nice to you by letting your brother join this year. I thought we were on good terms. Apparently not.

What I was thinking: Nash was ranked in the 30’s and I had the 29th pick in the 3rd round. That’s when I would take him. So I had to settle on a big man. Al Jeff and Pau were sitting right there… but I’ve never really like Big Al… and I was sick of having Pau on my team (two years in a row). I needed something different. DeMarcus Cousins? Really? Ugh… I guess.

The third round is still a great time to get great players. David Lee and Dirk Nowitzki were once first-round picks. If you can grab one of them here, you'll do well for yourself. 

What I liked: Honestly, I think a lot of these guys will end up being 2nd rounders. N’Dongers paired the Gasol brothers together via autopick, and Brandon picked up Al Horford (who I covet). The fact that Mike Conley and Monta Ellis are grabbed this round is tasty.

What I didn’t like:  That Kobe didn’t drop to the 3rd round like last year. I like what Mike Harnish said in the draft room: “I blame Steve Nash.” Another thing I didn’t like: Anthony Davis. Really Willie? You’re killing me. I honestly don’t see what the hype is about. Yay, he has a unibrow… big deal.

What I was thinking: I was still a little flustered that Nash was gone. I was fully expecting to get him in the 3rd round, where he belongs. Now I had to adjust, and rethink my entire draft strategy. It really came down to Rudy Gay or Al Horford. With OJ Mayo completely out of the picture in Memphis, Rudy will be back to his dominating ways. Plus, I like a SF that can rebound, defend, and shoot threes.

Round 4: Effeciency

What I liked: There were a lot of players picked this round that used to be borderline 1st rounders: Steph Curry, Chris Bosh, Joe Johnson, Brook Lopez, Danny Granger. If you were able to snag any of these guys, I salute you. I love that Gortat is up here.

What I didn’t like: Ryan Anderson. Not that he doesn’t belong, just that he can’t be my LAST pick of the draft like he was last year.  Nice grab, Josh. I feel like Willie really stretched to grab Kenneth Faried (he claims it is of necessity because of his draft position, I’m just not sure he’s worth it)

What I was thinking: What can I do to piss off Mike Holmes? Haha Just kidding. I knew I wanted another big, and Brook Lopez seemed like my best bet. I have made this same bet several times before and lost. Why is he such a terrible rebounder??

Round 5: Fantasy Gold

What I liked:  This is the round that really resonated with me. A lot of really solid fantasy players were drafted, guys with high upside and loads of talent. Batum, Tyreke, Holiday, Gallinari, Afflalo, Bargnani. These are names I like!

What I didn’t like: STAT. It’s just sad. The guys got $60 million for the next 3 years and yet he doesn’t seem worth it. Guys get paid and then lay eggs. It’s the sad truth.

What I was thinking: Luol Deng has to be one of the most underrated players in fantasy basketball. He can do everything on the court and with Derrick Rose possibly out for the season, he’ll be the man in Chicago. I expect a career year, Deng it!

Round 6: ? marks

What I liked: Kyle Lowry is in Canada, even though Jose Calderon is still in town. ZBo to team Little, who at this point is having a quietly stellar draft. Gerald Wallace feels like a steal here.

What I didn’t like: Curtis drafting Ginobli. With the new anti flopping rules, Manu is going to run out of money. Mike Harnish being “a sucker for Boozer,” as his brother Willie put it. And Tyson Chandler picked by newcomer Daniel Holmes. Chandler is soooo 2011.

What I was thinking: It was the 6th round, and I still hadn’t drafted a PG. Unheard of. So then I looked at the list… and John Wall was just sitting there. He should be back by Thanksgiving, and he’s better than Goran Dragic. (Oh… burn, Willie.) I would know, I WAS a Suns fan.

Rounds 7-8: Shooting Guards Galore

What I liked: Team Little grabbing Scola and Mayo (so predictable!), while Shai pairs Jason Terry and Chauncey. Willie finally made two picks that make sense: Glen Davis and Nikola Pekovic. And Josh grabs MKG. Deliciousness!

What I didn’t like: Michael Beasley in round 8. Mike Holmes dropped way down to grab one of the most overrated, inconsistent, and underachieving fantasy players ever. (Mostly, I was looking at grabbing him in round 9.)

What I was thinking: I was looking for a shooting guard… but didn’t see any that I liked. Then emerged Lou Williams. A PG/SG combo guard that can score in bunches and might actually get to start this year. He’s another guy I expect huge things from. I still needed another PG and there really was only one other on my list: Ricky Rubio. He’s hurt but will be back at some point this season. Hopefully its sooner rather than later. In hind sight, I should have drafted Beasley and then grabbed Rubio in the 9th. But whatever.

Rounds 9-13 Garbage Time

I picked Jonas Valanciunas (coolest name of the draft), DJ Augustin, Jeff Green, Brandon Roy, and Kirk Hinrich, respectively. I was happy to grab BRoy, a former borderline 1st rounder in round 12. Definitely a high-risk, high-reward move. And Hinrich should be in for a solid year since Derrick Rose may not even play this year.

The best pick of the draft was the last one, when Team Little won the Kwame Brown Lottery and was burdened with human garbage/ an idiot face. A tip of the hat to Team Little, for making our draft complete.

As to analyzing who had the best draft… this is a little tough. I don’t think Mike Harnish helped his chances of making his team name a reality. And I’m still baffled by Willie’s early round choices (although it doesn’t really matter because he has KD, and the Durantula will make him relevant by himself). Sean and Curtis were waylaid by the auto draft, and while the Holmes brothers started out strong, they seemed to fade in the late rounds. Josh took a lot of chances by drafting 3 rookies. Ryan, Shai, and Brandon’s teams all look solid… and my team won’t be competitive until Kevin Love gets back from injury. That leaves Team Little as my pick as having the best draft this year, with the 12th pick in the draft! Every person on his team will start and log big minutes. Proof that you don’t have to be one of the top two to assemble a quality team through the draft. 

Friday, April 13, 2012

La cueva del dragón

Saqué la vieja espada
que colgaba en mi cinturón
y al pasar por la entrada
de la cueva del dragón
sentí algo en el pecho
que me paró el corazón.

Sentimiento de la muerte
muchas veces me venía,
pero nunca era tan fuerte
como el momento en que sabía
que apenas de mis esfuerzos
para salvar el amor mío
cambiar el hecho no podría
de que ella moriría.

De rodillas me quedaba
-¡Señor! ¡Soy yo! Y te ruego
que me ayudes en la lucha
contra este monstruo del fuego.
Quiero cumplir tu voluntad
y te alabaré luego.

Me puse de pie y al
sentir los escalofríos,
a las sombras fui corriendo
con la fuerza de Dios.

Gritos. Sangre. Muerte. Eran
compañeros de la oscuridad.
Y del silencio que siguió,
salió la voz de gravedad.

-¿Por qué luchas conmigo?
A ti no te he hecho nada.
No soy yo el ladrón de
tu corazón quebrantada.
-Estoy buscando a mi mujer,
preciosa como un hada.
Ella es más hermosa
que cualquier cosa creada.

El dragón me habló de nuevo,
-Fíjate en tu espada,
verás que no es mi sangre
por la cual está empapada.

Jamás podré olvidar
como la sangre brillaba
por el sol al salir
corriendo de su espalda.
Pero, lo peor siempre será
lo glacial de su mirada
y el susurro del dragón
en una voz muy bajada:
-La has matado a ella,
tu mujer embarazada. 

Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Souper Guy and Kami: Part 3

                  One morning as I was about to leave for work, there was a knock on my door. I opened it and found an unmarked package. I didn’t see anyone in the hallway or down the stairs, and when I looked out my apartment window, there wasn’t anyone leaving the building. I opened it and found a shiny, green material with gold trim. I unfolded it and found a full suit of shiny green and gold. In the center of the chest was a brilliantly crafted emblem of a spoon and a bowl of soup. My mind raced back to five years before as my body raced through my closet, rummaging through old boxes of papers and receipts. Then I found the card:

‘quick’ = super speed   
cheese = super sense of humor
broccoli = green and gold

                  I really had no answers other than the fact that there had to be some sort of connection between that fake soup kitchen and everything that was happening to me now. But, in disbelief, one thought kept cycling through my mind, “Spandex. …. Really?“

 I returned my attention to the package. There had to be some sort of clue. In the box was a tiny envelope, and in that tiny envelope was a small slip of paper: ‘Every super hero needs a sidekick.’

My best friend growing up was a kamikaze bicyclist. I use the word ‘was’ because he wasn’t around for very long. He died, I mean moved. Ben was a short and stout guy with black hair that he kept buzzed. Normally he wasn’t one to commit and could be labeled as your typical fence-sitter. But you put the guy on a bicycle and he morphed into this fearless force of indestructible nature. He said it made him feel alive, I said it made him look like Geronimo. He said it was a leap of faith, I said it was a kamikaze. So, I actually started calling him Kami. (That didn’t go over very well in school since our principal, ‘Old Man’ Mirich, was still living in the 1920’s. It also didn’t help that Kami’s favorite color was red.) And then I literally called him… on the phone.
Hey, Kami. So… I guess I’m a super hero now. Do you want to be my wingman?

Maybe. Do I get any super powers?

Like what?

I dunno. Super strength? Or the ability to hear things from miles away? Or eagle powers… that I can summon in time of need.

No. You don’t. You just get to be you.

Hmmm. I like me… …. So… what do I do?

Nothing really. You’re kinda like Robin. You’re basically useless but you give me someone to talk to. And… you get to hang out with a super hero... and wear spandex.

Can I wear shorts instead?

Spandex shorts, yes.

I hung up the phone and stared out the window for a minute. There were so many things I wanted to know. So many questions remained unanswered. So I decided I would not rest until I had gotten the answers… right after my power nap and quick bowl of soup.

And thus begins the adventures of Souper Guy and Kami.