1) A billboard reads: “Call 911 when it’s life or death. Don’t when it isn’t.” So… call 911… always?
2) $120 jeans vs $20 jeans. I will never, EVER spend more than $20 on jeans. Why?
- $20 jeans look exactly the same as $120 jeans
- No one ever notices what brand of jeans you’re wearing, except if you’re wearing Jnco jeans… then everyone notices
- Simple mathematics: $120 jeans cost 100 dollars more than $20 jeans
- More simple mathematics: I can buy 6 pairs of $20 jeans for the price of one pair of $120 jeans. Six pairs!! That will last me ten years!
- The other day I walked in my apartment and Thalia, my know-it-all roommate-Dan’s fiancé, said, “Hey Barticus, I like your jeans.” “Thanks, they were $20.” I replied. I said this jokingly on purpose, in an effort to razz her a little bit, because I know she’s the type of girl who loves $120 jeans.
- If anyone ever asks me, “Do these jeans make me look fat?” I always respond with, “If they were 120 dollars they sure do.”
- I don’t have $120. But if I did, there are a LOT of other things I’d rather spend it on. (Like Wendy's, or Calvin and Hobbes)
3) Whistlers… I’ll never understand them. Are you bored? Trying to get my attention? Do you really love the Mario Bros. theme song SO much that you HAVE to whistle it? The sad thing is that the ones that are actually good at it never do it… and the one’s that aren’t… well you just keep on tryin’, buddy. (And that’s not a statement of encouragement, that’s a statement of fact.)
4) My dear friend Tia asked, “Do you wish Steve Nash was your boyfriend? I think you do…” Now, to clarify, Steve Nash is not gay, nor am I. But hey, if he asked me out, I wouldn't say no. I like to be pampered with free dinner and a good time just like the next girl. Besides, man-dates can be just as fun as regular dates. Except for when they get canceled. Then they're just as bad as regular dates.
5) And of course, something sports related. Greg Popovich, the coach of the San Antonio Spurs, sat all of his starters during the last four minutes of their game against the Chicago Bulls. They were only down eight points. That’s nothing. That’s a basket and a defensive stop (which is what the Spurs are supposedly ‘good’ at: defense) away from a two possession game! They ended up losing the game 92-85, but why in the world would you sit all of your starters and forfeit any chance of winning a game that is clearly within reach? I’ve never understood why Popovich does this, and he does it often. He even does it in the playoffs. I remember one game, his team was down by 20 points early in the third quarter, he sat all of his starters and didn’t play them the rest of the game, and they lost. The NBA game is a game of runs, and any team can come back and win on any given night, as shown us by the Celtics in the ‘07-’08 finals. (Although I disagree with Popovich’s approach, I’m elated when he does this. I hate the Spurs and I love when they lose.)