Sunday, April 26, 2009

Bart and Dan- Episode 5

So... this is the last episode I'll be posting in written format... I really don't want to spoil the rest of the season in case we decide to actually film these. But here's a taste of Episode 5... enjoy!

Episode 5- Ping Pong

(Dan’s playing ping pong. Bart comes in)

B: It’s the Dan. …. Why do you play ping pong? You’re not China knees.

D: Uh, I think you mean Chinese.

B: That’s what I said… China knees.

D: No, I’m not CHInese. But you know ping pong is world renown sport, right? Not only do the Chinese play it. But also the Korean, German, Vietnamese, Japanese…

B: … the Italian knees, the Mexico knees, the America knees...
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B: So if you play ping pong so much… why aren’t you good at table tennis?

D: I AM good at table tennis. Table tennis and ping pong are the same thing.

B: If they were the same thing then wouldn’t they be called the same thing?

D: Not if their sameness is represented within the thing. Argh. Do I really have to dumb this down for you? They're the same.

B: Obviously they’re not the same. In ping pong you use ping bong balls. In table tennis you use table tennis balls.

D: Do you even know what a table tennis ball is?

B: It’s a tennis ball… but smaller.... with a table in it… under the net serve, out of bounds line judge.
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Dan decides to teach Bart how to play.

(Bart doesn’t have a paddle)

B: Why don’t I have a paddle?

D: Who told you you have to have a paddle?

B: Well… I just thought…

D: Yeah well don’t. Did Mr. Miagi give Danielson a samurai sword? No. He gave him a bucket of soapy water. Did Trainer Mickey give Rocky Balboa boxing gloves? No. He put him in a meat locker. Did Darth Vader give Luke Skywalker a lightsaber? No. He cut off his hand.

(Bart gets pelted by ping pong balls)
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3 comments:

The Little's said...

Please Please PLEASE film this. I will pay you to see it. Not much, but I will pay.

Lyle and Kathi Gadbury said...

uhhh....did I miss episodes 3 and 4 somewhere?

Bart you are hilarious. I may be your only fan, but I'm the number one fan that you can pretty much count on forever.

Dubya D. said...

Dan made some serious sense in that last little bit.