Jason: Sure. What type of business?
Bart: Oh… I don’t know. I thought you had that part figured out. You’re the brawn and the brain and the billfold… I’m just the pretty face you’re gonna slap on billboards.
Jason: I was thinking about beet farming. Do you want to be the spokesperson for a beet farm?
Bart: Everyone loves beets, right?
Jason: I think so… that’s why it’s a great idea!
Bart: You may be on to something…
J: Now we just need to learn how to farm…
B: I grew up on a ranch… but that really doesn’t help us, does it?
J: That depends. Have you ever planted anything that didn’t die within a week?
B: No. … Wait… I once planted a seed that never grew… so, technically, it never died.
J: That’s a great point and that’s enough for me to make you Chief Operations Officer!
B: Awesome! And as my first official act as Chief Operations Officer, I hereby appoint you as Lead Implementation Specialist.
J: Thank you! As my first official act as Lead Implementation Specialist, I implement a three day work week.
B: I second it. Motion for a three day work week stands. HooRah.
To: COO Bart
From: LIS Jason
Re: Hot Secretary
Can we hire Megan Fox as my secretary?
All that other stuff.
Re: Hot Secretary
I’m sorry to inform you that, Miss Fox has already been hired on as the COO’s secretary (The COO... yeah, that’s me.)… And Kate Beckinsale as the COO’s personal assistant. (That’s also me.)
J: Oh. … That seems unfair.
B: You might think that at first, until you find out that I appointed Tina Fey and Ellen as your secretaries! Surprise!
J: Wait… what? No. Why?!
B: Can you say ‘funnest office in the building’?! I think you can!
J: I want hottest office in the building! Not an ugly chick and an uglier lesbo!
B: Sorry. You automatically ruled your office out of the running when you hired me as COO. I’m hot. … But don’t worry. The hot secretaries and I will come and visit often.
J: I’m resigning and starting a brussel sprouts farm.
And now... one of my favorite clips from The Office.
Bears. Beets. Battlestar Galactica.