I hate Winter. Whoever thought of Winter should consider these improvements: snow that looks and tastes like Sno-cones, reindeer BBQ, and/or t-shirts that are overcoats in disguise.
That being said, there is nothing I look forward to more than the season after winter. Sunshine, warm weather, and PJ's all day, every day. Yes, I'm talking about March Madness. Lets be honest. I don't leave my couch.
With BYU looking poised to make a run in the tournament... things couldn't be much wackier. Well, maybe they could be. Here's a discussion about BYU's star player, Jimmer Fredette.
Jason: It’s really hard for me to cheer for a team whose best player is named Jimmer.
Bart: Really? But he’s soooo Jimmer.
Jason: That is such a terrible name though…
Bart: Yeah but he’s a baller… So is Michael Lloyd Jr.
Jason: Yeah that Lloyd kid is quick. A lot like myself.
Bart: Not really. You’re slow, white and very NOT gangster.
Jason: First of all I am really hood. Second, a black kid from BYU is the opposite of gangsta.
Bart: Like I said he’s gangster not gangsta. Big difference. Plus, he’s from Vegas… he’s totally gangster.
Jason: I’m from Sun Valley! That’s a lot more hood.
(Jimmer knocks down a crossover, step-back three…)
Bart: JIMMER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Jason: I see your enthusiasm, but I still don’t understand why his parents would do that to the poor kid.
Bart: I think they were impressionists. Jimmer is a name that you never forget.
Jason: That’s true. Kinda like Larry. Or Floyd.
Bart: Not really like Floyd. There’s a guy in my class named Floyd, I forget his name all the time. But I’ll tell you what… If I had a wife and she was pregnant, I wouldn’t think twice about naming my kid Jimmer.
Jason: I decided to start calling Mac Dad ‘Jimmer’ and he seems to be happy about it.
Bart: Mac Dad will always be Mac Dad…
Jason: Not anymore… he likes to be called Jimmer.
Bart: And who wouldn’t? ? Jimmer is classic… like Archibald… or Tiberius.
Jason: Tiberius? That is a whole lot classier than Jimmer. Jimmer sounds like a toothless redneck at Big Country Speedway.
Bart: Oh… now I can see why Mac Dad likes it…
Jason. Yeah… Mac Dad is a classy guy. I do enjoy Jimmer’s set shots and layups.
Bart: Set shots? More like crossover, step-back threes!!!
Jason: I only saw one. The rest was the classic white guy game.
Bart: If by ‘classic’ you mean ‘yankee’… then yes. The dude hails from New York.
Jason: That’s not at all what I meant. Regardless of where he’s from, he plays like Jerry West.
Bart: Did Mac Dad tell you to say that?
Jason: Huh?
Bart: You don’t know who Jerry West is, do you?
Jason: …
Bart: Jerry West is in the Basketball Hall of Fame.
Jason: …
Bart: He’s the NBA logo.
Jason: Oh yeah, the white silhouette… I’m not saying Jimmer is bad. I’m just saying he has that classic white-guy game. I feel like Jimmer is a quicker Lyle Gadbury.
Bart: Well… I’m pretty sure my dad taught him that scoop shot… and I think their feet are the same size…
Jason: Lyle does have an unstoppable scoop shot. Jimmer just needs to work on the running hook and he will be the next logo.
Bart: I can see it now. They just need to change the colors from red, white, and blue to white, off white, and transparent. It would attract a whole new generation of white players.
Jason: I think that is exactly what the NBA needs. It would be like the 1950’s all over again.
Bart: Awesome! I love poodle skirts!
Jason: Wearing them?
Bart: Wha??
Jason: You love wearing poodle skirts.
Bart: Um… psshhhhh… no…
Jason: Are you lying?
Bart: Uh… no… Are you?
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2 comments:
I'll admit it, I like wearing poodle skirts. But only French poodles. All you other poodle wannabes can just shut up.
Wow, your dad made your blog. Does that mean he'll be as famous as Jimmer?
(By the way, your Uncle Jim was nick-named Jimmer...does that change anything for you?)
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