I hate Winter. Whoever thought of Winter should consider these improvements: snow that looks and tastes like Sno-cones, reindeer BBQ, and/or t-shirts that are overcoats in disguise.
That being said, there is nothing I look forward to more than the season after winter. Sunshine, warm weather, and PJ's all day, every day. Yes, I'm talking about March Madness. Lets be honest. I don't leave my couch.
With BYU looking poised to make a run in the tournament... things couldn't be much wackier. Well, maybe they could be. Here's a discussion about BYU's star player, Jimmer Fredette.
Jason: It’s really hard for me to cheer for a team whose best player is named Jimmer.
Bart: Really? But he’s soooo Jimmer.
Jason: That is such a terrible name though…
Bart: Yeah but he’s a baller… So is Michael Lloyd Jr.
Jason: Yeah that Lloyd kid is quick. A lot like myself.
Bart: Not really. You’re slow, white and very NOT gangster.
Jason: First of all I am really hood. Second, a black kid from BYU is the opposite of gangsta.
Bart: Like I said he’s gangster not gangsta. Big difference. Plus, he’s from Vegas… he’s totally gangster.
Jason: I’m from Sun Valley! That’s a lot more hood.
(Jimmer knocks down a crossover, step-back three…)
Jason: I see your enthusiasm, but I still don’t understand why his parents would do that to the poor kid.
Bart: I think they were impressionists. Jimmer is a name that you never forget.
Jason: That’s true. Kinda like Larry. Or Floyd.
Bart: Not really like Floyd. There’s a guy in my class named Floyd, I forget his name all the time. But I’ll tell you what… If I had a wife and she was pregnant, I wouldn’t think twice about naming my kid Jimmer.
Jason: I decided to start calling Mac Dad ‘Jimmer’ and he seems to be happy about it.
Bart: Mac Dad will always be Mac Dad…
Jason: Not anymore… he likes to be called Jimmer.
Bart: And who wouldn’t? ? Jimmer is classic… like Archibald… or Tiberius.
Jason: Tiberius? That is a whole lot classier than Jimmer. Jimmer sounds like a toothless redneck at Big Country Speedway.
Bart: Oh… now I can see why Mac Dad likes it…
Jason. Yeah… Mac Dad is a classy guy. I do enjoy Jimmer’s set shots and layups.
Bart: Set shots? More like crossover, step-back threes!!!
Jason: I only saw one. The rest was the classic white guy game.
Bart: If by ‘classic’ you mean ‘yankee’… then yes. The dude hails from New York.
Jason: That’s not at all what I meant. Regardless of where he’s from, he plays like Jerry West.
Bart: Did Mac Dad tell you to say that?
Bart: You don’t know who Jerry West is, do you?
Bart: Jerry West is in the Basketball Hall of Fame.
Bart: He’s the NBA logo.
Jason: Oh yeah, the white silhouette… I’m not saying Jimmer is bad. I’m just saying he has that classic white-guy game. I feel like Jimmer is a quicker Lyle Gadbury.
Bart: Well… I’m pretty sure my dad taught him that scoop shot… and I think their feet are the same size…
Jason: Lyle does have an unstoppable scoop shot. Jimmer just needs to work on the running hook and he will be the next logo.
Bart: I can see it now. They just need to change the colors from red, white, and blue to white, off white, and transparent. It would attract a whole new generation of white players.
Jason: I think that is exactly what the NBA needs. It would be like the 1950’s all over again.
Bart: Awesome! I love poodle skirts!
Jason: Wearing them?
Jason: You love wearing poodle skirts.
Bart: Um… psshhhhh… no…
Jason: Are you lying?
Bart: Uh… no… Are you?