Speedy Rodriguez

Another intro: Say Hello! to Ryan, my arch nemisis. The Kryptonite to my Superman, the Tom to my Jerry, the mold to my three week old bread. The Bruce Bowen/Robert Horry to my Steve Nash. Yes... Ryan is from San Antonio and a huge Spurs fan. I'm amazed we get along as well as we do. He's tiny. He says he's 5'8"... but we all know better.

Bart- Dude, I got zero sleep last night.

Ryan- Dude, I haven’t slept in weeks.

Bart- Zero means 'none' in German or something.

Ryan- Hm. I learn something new everyday. ... Does that mean you don’t want to play ball today?

Bart-  No… I want to... I'm just warning you I'm going to be terrible. And by ‘terrible’ I mean I won’t be throwing down my usual 360 windmill dunks.

Ryan- Yeah, me either… but not because I’m 5’8” and have the jumping ability of a four year old… I’ve been in my bed for the last 3 days reading a 600 page econ book. That’s what I get for not going to class since September.

Bart-  Haha. Ouch. Talk about information overload.

Ryan-  Yea… and I don’t even understand anything I’m reading… that’s why I need a b-ball break.

Bart- My thoughts exactly. Except for the whole not understanding what you’re reading. I understand everything.

Ryan-  My head like seriously started hurting.
I thought I was having a brain aneurism.
I thought I was going to die.
I saw Jesus.

Bart- ... ...

Ryan- He said to never pass you the ball.

Bart - Wow... I'm pretty sure that wasn't Jesus. That had to have been Jesus' brother.

Ryan- Jesus’ brother?

Bart- Yeah, you know, His brother…

Ryan- Well, it looked like Jesus. He had a beard.

Bart- Yeah... that’s definitely His brother… Larry.

Ryan- Larry?

Bart- Yeah, Jesus’ twin. I think he's mentioned in the Bible once... or maybe that was Lucifer...?

Ryan- One of them… I can never remember these things.

Bart- Or understand them.