March Insane-ness

I hate Winter. Whoever thought of Winter should consider these improvements: snow that looks and tastes like Sno-cones, reindeer BBQ, and/or t-shirts that are overcoats in disguise.

That being said, there is nothing I look forward to more than the season after winter. Sunshine, warm weather, and PJ's all day, every day. Yes, I'm talking about March Madness. Lets be honest. I don't leave my couch.

With BYU looking poised to make a run in the tournament... things couldn't be much wackier. Well, maybe they could be. Here's a discussion about BYU's star player, Jimmer Fredette.

Jason: It’s really hard for me to cheer for a team whose best player is named Jimmer.

Bart: Really? But he’s soooo Jimmer.

Jason: That is such a terrible name though…

Bart: Yeah but he’s a baller… So is Michael Lloyd Jr.

Jason: Yeah that Lloyd kid is quick. A lot like myself.

Bart: Not really. You’re slow, white and very NOT gangster.

Jason: First of all I am really hood. Second, a black kid from BYU is the opposite of gangsta.

Bart: Like I said he’s gangster not gangsta. Big difference. Plus, he’s from Vegas… he’s totally gangster.

Jason: I’m from Sun Valley! That’s a lot more hood.

(Jimmer knocks down a crossover, step-back three…)

Bart: JIMMER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Jason: I see your enthusiasm, but I still don’t understand why his parents would do that to the poor kid.

Bart: I think they were impressionists. Jimmer is a name that you never forget.

Jason: That’s true. Kinda like Larry. Or Floyd.

Bart: Not really like Floyd. There’s a guy in my class named Floyd, I forget his name all the time. But I’ll tell you what… If I had a wife and she was pregnant, I wouldn’t think twice about naming my kid Jimmer.

Jason: I decided to start calling Mac Dad ‘Jimmer’ and he seems to be happy about it.

Bart: Mac Dad will always be Mac Dad…

Jason: Not anymore… he likes to be called Jimmer.

Bart: And who wouldn’t? ? Jimmer is classic… like Archibald… or Tiberius.

Jason: Tiberius? That is a whole lot classier than Jimmer. Jimmer sounds like a toothless redneck at Big Country Speedway.

Bart: Oh… now I can see why Mac Dad likes it…

Jason. Yeah… Mac Dad is a classy guy. I do enjoy Jimmer’s set shots and layups.

Bart: Set shots? More like crossover, step-back threes!!!

Jason: I only saw one. The rest was the classic white guy game.

Bart: If by ‘classic’ you mean ‘yankee’… then yes. The dude hails from New York.

Jason: That’s not at all what I meant. Regardless of where he’s from, he plays like Jerry West.

Bart: Did Mac Dad tell you to say that?

Jason: Huh?

Bart: You don’t know who Jerry West is, do you?

Jason: …

Bart: Jerry West is in the Basketball Hall of Fame.

Jason: …

Bart: He’s the NBA logo.

Jason: Oh yeah, the white silhouette… I’m not saying Jimmer is bad. I’m just saying he has that classic white-guy game. I feel like Jimmer is a quicker Lyle Gadbury.

Bart: Well… I’m pretty sure my dad taught him that scoop shot… and I think their feet are the same size…

Jason: Lyle does have an unstoppable scoop shot. Jimmer just needs to work on the running hook and he will be the next logo.

Bart: I can see it now. They just need to change the colors from red, white, and blue to white, off white, and transparent. It would attract a whole new generation of white players.

Jason: I think that is exactly what the NBA needs. It would be like the 1950’s all over again.

Bart: Awesome! I love poodle skirts!

Jason: Wearing them?

Bart: Wha??

Jason: You love wearing poodle skirts.

Bart: Um… psshhhhh… no…

Jason: Are you lying?

Bart: Uh… no… Are you?