Bears. Beets. Battlestar Galactica.

Bart: We’re going into business together, right?

Jason: Sure. What type of business?

Bart: Oh… I don’t know. I thought you had that part figured out. You’re the brawn and the brain and the billfold… I’m just the pretty face you’re gonna slap on billboards.

Jason: I was thinking about beet farming. Do you want to be the spokesperson for a beet farm?

Bart: Everyone loves beets, right?

Jason: I think so… that’s why it’s a great idea!

Bart: You may be on to something…

J: Now we just need to learn how to farm…

B: I grew up on a ranch… but that really doesn’t help us, does it?

J: That depends. Have you ever planted anything that didn’t die within a week?

B: No. … Wait… I once planted a seed that never grew… so, technically, it never died.

J: That’s a great point and that’s enough for me to make you Chief Operations Officer!

B: Awesome! And as my first official act as Chief Operations Officer, I hereby appoint you as Lead Implementation Specialist.

J: Thank you! As my first official act as Lead Implementation Specialist, I implement a three day work week.

B: I second it. Motion for a three day work week stands. HooRah.

J:

MEMO
Date: 11-18-2009
To: COO Bart
From: LIS Jason
Re: Hot Secretary
Can we hire Megan Fox as my secretary?

B:

RETURNMEMO
All that other stuff.
Re: Hot Secretary
I’m sorry to inform you that, Miss Fox has already been hired on as the COO’s secretary (The COO... yeah, that’s me.)… And Kate Beckinsale as the COO’s personal assistant. (That’s also me.)

J: Oh. … That seems unfair.

B: You might think that at first, until you find out that I appointed Tina Fey and Ellen as your secretaries! Surprise!

J: Wait… what? No. Why?!

B: Can you say ‘funnest office in the building’?! I think you can!

J: I want hottest office in the building! Not an ugly chick and an uglier lesbo!

B: Sorry. You automatically ruled your office out of the running when you hired me as COO. I’m hot. … But don’t worry. The hot secretaries and I will come and visit often.

J: I’m resigning and starting a brussel sprouts farm.



And now... one of my favorite clips from The Office.
Bears. Beets. Battlestar Galactica.

Christmastime was here

So I've been getting complaints from a select few followers of my blog (who shall remain nameless: Tricia). These anonymous fans have made clear their disconent of the impersonal nature of the content contained herein. So... here's me... personalizing.


This is (in order of appearance) cuz Alisa, Uncle Dave, ME and Aunt Steph in a yearly ritual of 'One-on-One Hoops'. It's a card game that is played like the real game of basketball. (It is also known as 'Church Ball'.) My Uncle Dave (the one in the red shirt) invented it. Yeah we still can't believe he actually thought of something. Anyways... notice the smiles on my and Alisa's face.


Well... unfair Uncle Dave put in a sub in the second half. They made a furious come-back... and he nailed a three at the buzzer to win the game. Needless to say (and honestly, I'd really rather not say it...) we were stunned.



My widdle Bubsy and I got matching Santa tatoos. (They're not gay.)


And I'm not sure why we're laughing. But this is what happens during the traditional White Elephant gift exchange.

I then arm wrestled my Aunt Peggy. There is no need to inform my readers of the identity of the winner.

I soon thereafter cut my hair (and my bangs... haha Janet).

This week we had a 'The Office' party. I am Jim.

This is the rest of the crew.

So I've made an executive decision (because I do that when I blog) and I will update this post until I no longer feel the need. EnJoY!